At 1:45 AM

There are things in life that I can’t control. Like mother nature and reaction among my circle. On the other hand, there are things that I can control. Like my reaction and proper communication.

My husband has a thing. COMMUNICATION.

I so suck at it!

He always said to OVER-COMMUNICATE!

But details aren’t my forte. That’s his!

But due to the nature and the outcome of our every fights, arguments, frustrations and whatever adjectives that get us to fighting – I have to over communicate.

So what’s stopping me?

MY HEAD!

It’s all over my head that it’s just stays in my head.

Well, many things …

1. when words were too much and I break down – the words that comes out were never encouraging. It’s hurtful, vengeful and absolutely, downright evil.

2. I know that when I don’t communicate, it gets through him. And that’s how I would tell him – I’m so mad at him!

3. the list could go on and on…

But you see, I love my husband very much. I would offer my body to him. My wits, my charm. Even more, my life!

So why am I doing this to him?

I am the biggest contradiction.

I would say sorry all over and over again and he would forgive me more than seventy seven times. Unless I’m willing to get pass my pride, I could overcome this.

So what’s stopping me?

ME, I believe!

I pray he won’t stop loving me.

His love is the only thing that holds us.

Our marriage. Our life. Our little family. And ours together.

He is an extra-ordinary person. If people could see him through my eyes. People would say – stop being an immature and GROW up!

You see, my husband’s flaws are too many. One, too kind. Two, too trusting. Three, too loving. Four, too serving. Five, it could go on….

And six, anything I’ve asked – he would dive right in.

But why I’m doing this to him? Is it being a woman? or being his wife? Or just being me.

Okay, I said too many words. But there’s one thing that I know that could improve our relationship.

To communicate better. Clearer and happier. Or to just not say nothing when things were written all over my face.

I so hope that I would get pass through this!

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